India is so different from here. Over the years of traveling between here and there the culture shock has become less. Or perhaps it's reversed; that even though I spend less time in India the culture shock happens on my return to the west.

 

Life here gives the illusion that we are in control of things. On a day to day basis we can be sure we can get to where we want to be. We simply jump in the car and drive or the buses/trains generally run on time. In India, while there is a strive for efficiency in the cities, you can frequently wait a day for a bus that doesn't come. 'Yes, madam, there is surely a direct bus at 8am'..... waiting, waiting … 'at 9.30am, you catch this bus'.... and somehow I get to my destination 3 buses and 8 hours later, via villages in the middle of nowhere, guided by numerous folk not speaking english. India can be so hard and at the same time so much easier.

 

India can only be accepted in it's unfair complexity. It is a country who's poor are homeless and in famine living daily on the loose change at the bottom of our bag; who's rich are often corrupt and blind to the suffering in it's streets; who's middle class - like you and I are blinded by powerless to change anything and obsessed with our own struggles. Daily you are confronted or emotionally defensive of this division far from equality. NGO's and the baksheesh that tourists may give respite to a few lucky recipients, but is barely palpable to the anonymous 100 million others. Blows your mind.

 

This year they have employed someone to clear the plastic on the beach, but you find it un-buried a street or so back in a makeshift tip. In the India big cities I have better internet access than at home in Ashgrove, in the villages I stay in accommodation dangerously unfinished or still under construction. Our regulated society and WH&S would prevent people staying in many of the places I've stayed.

 

So I haven't painted a very appealing picture, yet I return year after year. Why? In India you face the reality daily that although you are free to act, you really have no control over the outcome. Somewhere in this India has the ability to pull you into the present. You have to be present and trust your inner something when you are waiting for an 'unsure' bus. (I rarely to catch a taxi, I think the bus drivers are more experienced). You have to be present to deal with the passing hours of a train journey will take 12 hours longer than thought. Things slow down and you realise just how little you really need. You are prompted to be self responsible – there is no one to blame or sue if you fall from the balcony with no rails... it would be your own silly fault. You have to be present and accepting of complexities of Indian society to see the human beings beyond poverty and suffering and beyond wealth and naivety. And you see the smiles and kindness of all, despite the chaos. You watch your mind intensely ruminating over all the potentialities and you have no choice but to let go of the mind that's trying to understand or you go home to the life where you think you have control.