The Gift of Anxiety

Acknowledge your anxiety.

Anxiety is quite unpleasant and probably all of you have experienced it and some of you may struggle with it a lot. It may be felt along a spectrum ranging from emotions of stress, fear, panic or in the mind as racing and repetitive thoughts (rumination) or as bodily discomfort - fatigue, pain, tension or just a mildly unsettled feeling. It can be explained in lots of ways – psychological (as due to some situation or event), biochemically (due to the brain's chemistry) or medical (due to certain conditions effecting hormones).
This blog is not concerned with the differences of experiences nor the cause of it, but more how to work with it regardless. Not to deny of course that feeling fear when one is unsafe is a direct communication to flee! On the spectrum I'd say I have a tendency to experience significant anxiety regularly (all of the above), but fortunately through meditation and my spiritual practice I have learnt how not to struggle with it and in fact, appreciate the insights it has gifted.

There is a lovely story in Hindu spirituality about the God Brahma (The Creator) who at the beginning of the universe, rose upon a lotus from the navel of God Vishnu (The Maintainer). Perched out on this lotus in the middle of the cosmos, he felt lonely and out of his loneliness 'other' was created... AND with other, he felt fear. This is a beautiful metaphor of the manifestation of the dual from the non-dual and it can be understood at a variety of levels relevant to how human existence.

From a simple psychological view it normalizes anxiety as part of the dualistic human condition. While our non-dual essence remains veiled, we look outside of us, for a sense of completeness.. and this is anxiety provoking in a constantly changing 'outside of us' world.

So if you are unlucky you have a life where you get what you want and think you can control the outside world to feel 'complete' all the time. (Or maybe you are awake to your non-dual, whole essence, when even if in danger you would feel calm, because nothing every happened ;) )..

If you are lucky though, you experience anxiety, in any of it's forms.. Here you have a reminder of you where you are mistakenly looking outside to find completion. And this consistent prompt is the prompt to the spiritual practice that will take you home to your non-dual essence or at least head you in that direction.

What you feed grows.

If anxiety is extreme or there are deep trauma's related to it, this best done with the support of a qualified therapist. Therapist's with training such as acceptance and commitment therapy, Gestalt and mindfulness based psychologies may be useful and are consistent with yoga.

There are a variety of ways to use anxiety as a practice tool. First up is through enquiry to become aware of how you feed anxiety or engage in behaviors that directly cause it – what you take in.. the food you eat, intoxicants, what you read and watch on a screen. These things may seem harmless, but little lion cub's can grow into ferocious LIONS. So be aware of this. You may need to go cold turkey on some of these things to realize their juice. This is lifestyle medicine and this is why meditation retreats are so valuable to support you in this process.

One of my preferred meditation tools is to “Ignore the mind” and focus instead on the sensation of the anxiety.. this can be pretty full on to begin and is best approached in small doses.. Quickly you will discover how much energy is in e-motion (energy in motion). In opening up to anxiety in this way you will see where it can be trapped and held in the body (not in motion!). As these pathways reopen, you maybe experience emotional catharsis - tears or laughter, and insights may arise in the mind about the causes of the anxiety. It is here too that the psychological meets the spiritual and you may encounter the peace or bliss of your non-dual being. Give yourself lots of time and space to gently do this and again a retreat with an experienced teacher may offer you the best support.

Above all don't be anxious about anxiety. Re-frame and acknowledge it as a part of normal human emotion. This is being kind to yourself and will make life your life a more joyous one.